Your thirties are the time when you finally feel like you’ve grown into your skin. You know who you are, what you want, and how you want to get there. Even if you don’t know, you’re willing to do the work, so you’ll reach your goals. One of these goals might be to enter into a long-term monogamous relationship or simply get better at dating. Either way, if you want to know how you can play the dating game right in your thirties, we’ll point you in the right direction.
Be honest with what you want in a partner
The success in the dating game starts when you define exactly what you want to get out of it. Is it just to expand your social circle? Are you open to dating several people at once? Is it a friends with benefits you actually seek or something more serious? If you don’t know where to start, analyze your past dates. Figure ut what it is that you 100% don’t want, which will guide you in direction of what you want. Write it all on paper and focus on people who exude these traits and those characteristics.
Get to know yourself first
Spending time with the wrong people is a major time waster. We get into these relationship patterns because we lack self-awareness and the ability to voice our needs and set boundaries. If you want to be treated well, you need to know how to express your needs and draw boundaries when they are crossed or you’re needs aren’t met.
Heal your past relationship hurts
By the time your reach your thirties, you might have had a heartbreak or two. Maybe even several, and that just means that you were open, vulnerable and you’ve experienced love. But, these past hurts can still linger on, even if you think you’ve overcome them.
If you don’t heal your past relationship hurts, you might repeat the same dating and relationship patterns over and over again. Because you’ll end up dating the same person but in different bodies. So, heal your past relationship wounds with the help of a psychotherapist so you’ll know how to recognise a good one when they come along.
Let go of societal ideas of what a person should be and do in their thirties
People in their thirties are either already married with kids or are getting married and somehow you don’t fall in either of these categories. This can be especially difficult for LGBTQ people because their pool of possible dates is even smaller. Everyone should embrace the fact that love happens at any time, at any age, and its meant for all people, both gay or straight. But, it’s also okay if you decide to be proactive and ask for help. For example, gay people can find love by hiring services of a gay matchmaker New York is known for and get a personalised dating approach and suitable dates.
If you want to reach out, reach out
So, you’ve had a great date and you want to reach out to them, but somehow you feel like it’s better if you wait. Don’t do that because those are ineffective dating games people play. Do what you feel like doing because it means you’ll stay true to your wants and needs and move on quicker if this one is not a hit, but a miss.
Look beyond the potential
Don’t date someone because you believe that one day it will be the relationship you’ve always wanted. They say that the person will show their true face on the first date, but we refuse to believe it. Believe what you see and read the flags the right way. Remind yourself that the relationship is happening now. You don’t have any control of the future, so believe what you see now and act accordingly.
Look beyond your type
Now, you’re old enough to know that you should look beyond your typical type. We think that we have a type, but it’s just a set of traits and patterns we’re familiar with. That’s why we’re drawn to it. Just because it’s familiar, we should know our types and our patterns so we’ll look beyond them. Be open to dating not-your-usual-types because you might be surprised with how many people will come your way.
Lastly, don’t forget to have fun and enjoy the experience of meeting someone for the first time. Don’t act according to your agenda, just enjoy the moment and your intuition, as well.